Antisepticeye is basically our dad
I mean? This fandoms would NOT be as tight knit and close together as it was if it wasn’t for mr. Anti
Anti is Steve Harrington!
Anti is such a reluctant father tbh
like at first he was like “I WILL KILL THEIR JACK AND THEY WILL ALL COWER IN FEAR BEFORE ME” but then we all started theorising and drawing him likeanti: FUCKING CIRCLES
y’all: i drew him in a circle of flowers look he’s adorable and i love himso now he’s like. fuck. damn. i have 17 million kids. i’m not ready. fuck. shit. shut the fuck up chase ur wife left u i don’t need ur parenting advice. who the fuck is this mute guy. why is the doctor still cutting people up, that was my job. god i’m so fucking stressed. oh my god now they’re saying happy birthday to me. what the shit. why does this guy have a red onesie one. what’s happening. i’m not ready to be a single father, jack get back up i know i killed u but i need help why are they like this
I need this like I need oxygen
Wilford: hey, i invited Anti over for dinner. hope you don’t mind.
Darkiplier, under his breath: i didn’t know it was Snakesgiving.
Chase Brody: okay guys, the turkey’s done!
The Septiceyes: …?
Anti: but–
Chase Brody: before you ask, yes it’s cake in the shape of a turkey and no we can’t afford a turkey.
after (mostly) everyone’s done eating Thanksgiving Dinner
Dr. Schneeplestein: why are you still eating?
Jackieboy Man, with his mouth full: why are you still acting like you’re straight?
Wilford: Happy Thanksgiving!
King Of The Squirrels: oh yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day.
Bim, explaining a Turducken: it’s a chicken in a duck in a turkey.
Yandereplier: you know, because the holiday isn’t quite gluttonous enough on its own.
Bingiplier: sounds awesome, is that what we’re having?
Ed Edgar: nope. although impressive, i decided they stopped short when designing the turducken.
Yandereplier: yeah. they seem like real underachievers there.
Ed Edgar: so i decided to make my own variety.
Yandereplier: what’s that, a polecat stuffed in a possum?
Ed Edgar: nope, first we start with a hummingbird-
Yandereplier: a what–?
Ed Edgar: put that in a sparrow, stuff them both in a Cornish hen, then put that in a chicken. put all that in a duck, then a turkey, then in a bigger turkey.
Bim: two turkeys?!
Ed Edgar: hey, it’s Thanksgiving. put that in a penguin, stuff that in a peacock, then an eagle, shove it all in an albatross, then an emu, next comes an ostrich, then a leopard! put all that in a pterodactyl, and then stuff it in a Boeing 747.
The Host: “knowledge” is knowing that tomato is a fruit; “wisdom” is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
Bim: that was deep.
Googleplier: “philosophy” is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.
Bim: that’s even deeper.
Bingiplier: “common sense” is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie, ya nasties.
Chase Brody, to Anti: hey, i need some fashion advice. how does this look?
[Chase puts on a snapback and poses]
Anti: well…it’s a little low, pick it up a little.
[Chase lifts the hat a little]
Anti, as Chase continues to lift the hat: a little bit more…a little bit more…
[the hat comes completely off of Chase’s head]
Anti: there you go! now throw it away.
King Of The Squirrels: final question. you have a dinner date at 7 with your Senpai. what time do you arrive?
Yandereplier: 7. A.M. case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. can the cook be trusted? if not i gotta kill him. dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy, no later than 4:30.
King Of The Squirrels: you’re ready.
Yandereplier, excitedly: really?!
King Of The Squirrels: no. everything you just said was insane and we are out of time.
after the Warfstache interview
Operator: hello 911 – what’s your emergency?
Mark: i’m sitting in a pool of blood.
Operator: is it…yours?
Mark: yeah, i think so.
Operator: do you know where it’s coming from?
Mark: probably the stab wound.
Operator: have you been stabbed?
Mark: oh yeah, definitely.
