What if there was an intergalactic war going on, and most sides were tough and scary looking with a couple non-threatening groups just trying to get by, and then humans were introduced into the equation and we just friendship-ed the universe into not having a war?
There have been many instances in human history where we befriend things that could theoretically kill us in an instant. For example: domesticating wolves, cuddling tigers, having actual non-lethal bear hugs, riding moose, etc. What if, once one of the non-threatening groups picked us up, and we accidentally stumbled into one of the intimidating sides bases, and we just made them our friends?
Like, the ship lands, and there are giant rock-looking things with spikes and permanent glares and look ready to eat them and one alien whimpers and whispers to the humans “These are one of the larger contenders in the war, and one of the most dangerous. We need to evacuate and retreat. Now.”
And one human just ‘d’awwwwww’s and says “They need hugs” and waddles their way over, heedless to the danger they’re putting themselves in and ignoring the shouts of the crew behind them, and just straight up hugs one of these giants and pats the highest place they can touch, which is their hip, and goes “Wanna be friends?”
It turns out that yes, these giants really, really do want to be friends with these tiny, adorable flesh bags that give them hugs and need to be protected.
Eventually a peace treaty is made, because there are humans that are friends with every side now, and those humans are like “time to settle your petty squabbles that are hurting the rest of the known universe” and they do, a peace treaty is put into place, and the universe is saved because humans can’t stop making friends with dangerous things.
I’ll probably make a post later on the opposite, since humans are willing to do some pretty messed up things too.
My name is Kipitin Armolia Ritin Mansi Zibop, but my nickname on the Tumblr is Karmz. I’m hosting a question and answer session.
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Anonymous asked: What is your human’s intelligence classification?
Answer: Class B intelligence!
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Anonymous asked: YOUR HUMAN IS ADORABLE
Answer: I AGREE! SHE IS ADORABLE!
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silly-little-humans-reblogs asked: What age classification is your human?
Answer:teenger! What’s that? Teenager? Ok, they’re a teenager! Everybody say hi to my human! Look at the camera. Look at the camera. Come here. Say hi!
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ansibeep-answers asked: what does your human like to eat? what is it’ s name?
Answer: I use a human delivery service called “Jungle”. It used to be called amazon. I order 4 bagels, 2 pizza pies, and 20 apples per month, along with a kilogram of human feed! Her name is Karzie.
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Anonymous asked: can your human speak?
Answer: Oh, absolutely! She corrected me on her age in the first question.
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telepip-kid asked: What is Karzie like? Where did you get her?
Answer: I got her from an earth overpopulation space home on Etzie-5. It’s the only time I’ve been off-planet. Karzie is very smart! She has been helping me read Eeenglish. She likes to read a lot, sometimes I won’t find her for an hour. She also likes the new fabric utopia playhouse I bought her. She’s so small, she has lots of places to hide. It’s painted like earth.
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swerpberp asked: you said you got Karzie from another planet, but was she born on Etzie-5, Earth, or somewhere else?
Answer: She was on earth for five years until she was flown to Etzie-5. She was on the space home for two years, and i’ve had her for the six months afterward!
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deledeledeledele-wh000p asked: Hello! Human here! Has Karzie made any friends, and is she more of a Pet classification or Activity classification?
Answer: She likes being treated like a pet, but is a fully-functional activity human. She’s just lazy. I still love Karzie, no matter how silly she is.
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veterinarian-why asked: what media has she been exposed to?
Answer: Oh, Karzie adores Star Trek. She likes the Mary (Killer) Winstead book series. I heard the author just…Karzie, could you leave the room? Leave the room…Fine…Ugh! Ok. I heard the author just died. Ok. Karzie, come back! It’s ok!
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dipidipidip asked: does Karzie have GalacticChat?
Answer: Oh, no! It’s been linked to several murders on multiple planets.
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luark-sipt-gript asked: What does Karzie hate?
Answer: she hates big crowds. I took her to a human get-together and she ran away in fear. Couldn’t find her for a hour and 28 minutes!
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dup-nup-swup-kup asked: Does Karzie bite?
Answer: No, she’s passive. Barely has teeth anymore. I found them around the house with blood, its disgusting.
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Anonymous asked: What is Karzie doing right now?
Answer: She’s walking around. I’m going to ring her bell. Karzie!
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telepip-kid asked: Can we talk to Karzie?
Answer: Yeah! She’s right here.
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Karzie Answers
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Anonymous asked: Hello Karzie!
Answer: Hello !!!
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telepip-kid asked: What do you like most about Karmz? Do you prefer living on Earth, Etzie-5 or Radik?
Answer: Etzie-5 was boring. I have lots of memories of earth, but I think I prefer Radik. I have Karmz. I like Karmz’ patience. I do a lot of things to annoy her but she loves me.
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silly-little-humans-reblogs asked: What do you remember most about earth?
Answer: I remember being hungry. A year after i lived on Etzie-5 the earth regulations about overpopulation were enforced.
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Well, that concludes our weekly question-and-answer! “Tune in” next week at 3!
do you guys think that sometimes anti can assume physical form? like, for short periods of time, anti can escape jacks body, as long as he has enough energy? like in say goodbye, jack kept hearing things. maybe he was strong enough from all the hype around him to make a physical form to make the noises, but then had to revert back into jack to try and kill him, because he wasn’t strong enough to do that. @chase-brody-protection-squad@jacksepticeye-protection-squad@antidark-project
I think he’s sort of able to essentially become a poltergeist, a ghost that can affect the physical world around them.
