What if there was an intergalactic war going on, and most sides were tough and scary looking with a couple non-threatening groups just trying to get by, and then humans were introduced into the equation and we just friendship-ed the universe into not having a war?
There have been many instances in human history where we befriend things that could theoretically kill us in an instant. For example: domesticating wolves, cuddling tigers, having actual non-lethal bear hugs, riding moose, etc. What if, once one of the non-threatening groups picked us up, and we accidentally stumbled into one of the intimidating sides bases, and we just made them our friends?
Like, the ship lands, and there are giant rock-looking things with spikes and permanent glares and look ready to eat them and one alien whimpers and whispers to the humans “These are one of the larger contenders in the war, and one of the most dangerous. We need to evacuate and retreat. Now.”
And one human just ‘d’awwwwww’s and says “They need hugs” and waddles their way over, heedless to the danger they’re putting themselves in and ignoring the shouts of the crew behind them, and just straight up hugs one of these giants and pats the highest place they can touch, which is their hip, and goes “Wanna be friends?”
It turns out that yes, these giants really, really do want to be friends with these tiny, adorable flesh bags that give them hugs and need to be protected.
Eventually a peace treaty is made, because there are humans that are friends with every side now, and those humans are like “time to settle your petty squabbles that are hurting the rest of the known universe” and they do, a peace treaty is put into place, and the universe is saved because humans can’t stop making friends with dangerous things.
I’ll probably make a post later on the opposite, since humans are willing to do some pretty messed up things too.
Humans Are Weird #3
Published
A Glitch Named Anti 