esmeriandreamer:

So I was walking through my house today, and I accidently stubbed my toe hard against something on the ground. Like, really hard. I of course cursed, but bit through the pain because I had stuff to do. Ain’t nobody got time for a stubbed toe.

20 minutes later, I’m lying on my couch when I suddenly feel.. wetness on the toe I stubbed. I look, only to see a DEEP cut.

I WALKED AROUND WITH A BLOODY BLEEDING TOE FOR TWENTY MINUTES, BECAUSE I HAD “STUFF TO DO”. I DIDN’T FEEL THE PAIN BECAUSE “AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT”

It’s like soldiers that realize way later that they have been shot. Or a sprinter that FINALLY realizes their ankle is sprained.

Aliens would either be very concerned or very terrified about things like this.

Like, your human could discover a wound too late.

Or the humans you’re fighting are not fazed by a bullet wound because AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR PAIN-

cheeseanonioncrisps:

All these ‘humans are weird’ posts seem to talk about how difficult humans would be to work with— but what we’re actually one of the easiest species to work with?

Sure, we have that weird ‘relationship’ with local fluffy predators that nobody wants to talk to much about, and when scared (or happy, or excited) we scream at a frequency that bursts other species’ eardrums, and sometimes we do this thing called ‘brushing hair’ which involves using a spiked tool to rip out most of our head hair in an effort to make what’s left lie flat— but we’re just so well prepared!

Other species spend generations trying to figure each other out, but for humans there’s a guidebook… written by a human. Several decades before humans actually made contact with other species.

Yeah. Sometimes this preparedness can make us seem a bit like the kind of creep who spends the whole first date talking about the wedding, but even while they’re weirded out by it, nobody can deny how useful it is.

For instance, every species goes through a phase of hating what they see as ‘alien invaders’— the difference is that humans pretty much got past that stage almost before they’d discovered space travel. By the time we make contact, we’d already made the groundbreaking works of fiction that suggested that other species weren’t all that bad. The leap from first contact to working with other species, which for most species took generations, was incredibly short for us.

What’s more we’d, bizarrely, already prepared for species that hadn’t been discovered yet. When UP (United Planets, a human idea that had caught on. Other species were amazed that such a thing had been achieved, humans seemed a bit surprised that there hadn’t been one already) made contact with the first known sapient reptillian species, it was the humans who set to work redesigning the heating controls to mimic the climate of that planet. Hell, before other species— who weren’t sure it was going to be that easy— stopped them, they were about to go through with plans to put a hatchery on every ship.

All this ‘humans are space orcs’ stuff is what makes humans so easy to integrate into the galactic community.

zookeeperproblems:

aquaristlifeforme:

That’s rad. I’m so glad. Im not super familiar with that zoo. Or the term sanctuary zoo. But most zoos house some type of endangered animal. Usually multiples.

paperbaghero:

YOU!!

paperbaghero:

oh… OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH–

paperbaghero:

The MoonMoon of Zombies

xxmettatons2legsxx:

The blooper of Dr. Schneep laughing gives me life.

Just FYI