A 28-year-old entrepreneur has invented an Anti-Paparazzi scarf called ISHU that makes it impossible for photographers to take a picture of the wearer with the flash on.
What if aliens dont understand the concept of safety. Like earth is a deathworld so we have all these rules and regulations and drills and demonstrations but on their world everything is safe. There are no poisonous plants or animals, no dangerous land features or deep ocean’s. So they are on a ship with the humans and have no idea why all of these safety procedures are necessary.
“So y’all humans have this thing called safety apparently, what is it?”
“Oh! I guess… it’s like a list of procedures and items to benefit and protect the well-being of everyone around.”
“Are humans’ well-beings often in danger? Enough for a set of rules to be made?”
“Listen to my advice buddy. Every single human has an inner dumbass that will seriously harm them if not for safety, y’hear? You’ve seen where we come from. Our weather tries to kill us, our animals and plants try to kill us, our environment tries to kill us, sometimes our own bodies try to kill us if we’re not careful.”
“Yes… I suppose I can see your point.”
“Great, cool.”
And then the phrase “every human has an inner dumbass” becomes prime human advice. Humans are only so strong because literally everything is out to get them at all times where they hail from.
concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day
it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post. this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS
