cheeseanonioncrisps:

Imagine a group of humans and aliens talking about their home worlds while in the ship’s canteen. One world is covered entirely by water (the crew members from there have to wear special masks to help them absorb the oxygen they need from the air); one is full of rare minerals and littered with what, on any other planet, would be precious stones and one is carpeted with dense vegetation and has the more biodiversity than any other planet.

Once they’ve all finished talking about their own planets, everybody turns to the humans and asks them what Earth is like. They’re only doing it to be polite though. They haven’t heard much about humans (except the usual stories, and only fledglings believe in those) and they can’t really believe that these fleshy bald looking things come from anywhere even remotely as interesting as their own planets.

There’s a pause and then one of the humans speaks up, “well, I come from a part of Earth called ‘England’ and, to be honest, it’s nothing like as cool as your planets sound. It’s alright though. We got some snow last year, so I’m hoping that we’ll have some this year as well when I get back.”

“Snow?” one of the water breathers asks, hissing slightly through their mask, “what’s that?”

“Frozen water that falls from the sky.” The human explains, “it’s really fun to play with. It’s only called snow when it’s soft though— when it’s hard it’s called hail. Nobody likes hail, you can’t do anything with it and it hurts if it hits you. I looked up during a hail storm once,” she adds, “when I was a kid. Huge hailstones and one hit me right in the eye! Hurt like Hell.”

“Is your planet really cold then?” one of the aliens asks, sounding doubtful since nothing has looked less equipped to deal with cold weather than a human.

“No,” she says, “not everywhere. England’s pretty cold, but in the Summer sometimes we get heatwaves. Last year I went out in one and forgot to wear suncream and got sunburn all down my arms.”

“Your planet’s sun… burned you?” a horrified creature asks, “was it painful?”

“Not really, just stung a bit,” she shrugs, “it was fine once the skin started to peel.” (At the back of the crowd that has now amassed around their table a voice says “I didn’t know humans moulted.” and another, horrified sounding voice replies “that’s because they don’t!”) the human continues on regardless. “It was really annoying actually, because it meant I couldn’t go out for a bit without wearing a jacket. Then when my burns had finally healed, I wanted to go to the beach, but when I got there there was this huge thunderstorm and I had to go home again.”

“Thunderstorm?” the word is whispered, mainly because the person asking secretly hopes the human won’t hear them so they won’t have to know.

“It’s when the clouds get all dark and it starts raining,” the human explains and everybody sighs with relief. Most planets have rain. “The clouds make these really loud banging noises,” she continues, “that’s the thunder, and electricity shoots down from the clouds— that’s called lightning. Sometimes people get hit by it, a few people even survive. I once—”

But one of her human friends cuts her off. “God,” he says, “you Brits are so boring, always talking about the weather!”

While she argues with him, the creatures seated around the table stare at them in astonishment and start to give a little more credit to those old stories. Because, though they look pretty harmless, a species would have to be tough to be able to survive on a planet where a person could be pelted with ice, burned by the sun and nearly electrocuted by the sky and then have another person describe those experiences as boring!

teatotally:

what-alchemy:

f1rstperson:

thejusticethatissocial:

on one hand this is hysterically funny, but on the other someone’s gonna get lit on fire or blown up at this rate lmao

This is… not that hard….

Meanwhile, my friend and I once drove through a state we didn’t know was a “you’re not allowed to pump your own gas” state because at 19 we didn’t know those existed, and when someone came out to pump our gas we were incensed like HOW DARE YOU THINK WE, SOME BROWN SMALLS, CANNOT PUMP OUR OWN GAS

I used to drive to Portland about once a month and it never failed to surprise me, year after year, that I couldn’t pump my own gas. And I grew up in the era before pumping your own was common! But once you have that mindset, it just seems so odd…

squigglydigglydoo:

Here.  Have.  Have a panel of Ghost Rider out of context.  Context doesn’t help it, anyways.  In fact it makes it worse.

Everybody knows Johnny is the Ghost Rider in this comic.  Everybody.  They all think it’s a costume he wears for his nighttime stunts.  This cab driver thinks.  This cab driver thinks this is a man in a mask.  Getting into his car.  Doing some dumbass spooky voice for no reason.

And the only thing he’s wrong about is that it’s not a mask.  Johnny has absolutely no good fucking reason to be faking that voice.  He’s just.  “OOOooooOOOOoooo.  SpooOOKY GHOST RIDER VOIce” and everybody is just like “knock it the fuck off.”

I love Johnny Blaze.

colonel-william-protection-army:

gay-spaghetti:

My feelings about the whole “positive Markiplier clone” panic (Also kind of a PSA and a message to Mark)

(This is just how I feel, so if you don’t agree with me, that’s totally fine. We all have our own way of thinking things).

So if you’re somehow not aware, @markiplier is doing this fun and initially harmless thing of playing as a character on his tumblr. He’s saying insane things and encouraging this “positive” nature which is fake, but it’s all just in good fun of playing as a character. Mark’s intentions are not bad, and he never wanted any harm to come from this. He’s just doing a fun and creepy bit on his tumblr, which is fine and awesome. I love when he plays along with fans as a character.

But… apparently, some jackasses have been ruining it for everybody by sending individuals their personal information while playing the role of one those cryptic Markiplier clones (The ones wearing the “masks”).

Also, all of this is apparently causing some real paranoia for people with anxiety. I myself have a bad case of anxiety, and I do admit that all of this stuff did get me a little anxious, but nothing too serious to worry about or even comment on. (Unless your personal information was sent to you by a stranger, I think you should take a deep breath, talk to the lovely people of the community and your friends, and try to enjoy Mark’s mysteriousness).

And sadly, from what I’ve seen and heard, a fellow member of this fine community has apparently attempted suicide. I don’t know the specific circumstances of why or who it exactly was, …but I’m assuming they were one of the victims of being sent their personal info by some stranger on tumblr.

This is not okay. All of you creepy fucks can find your way to the door because you are not welcome. You negligent idiots are ruining it for everybody and as a result of that you can all royally fuck off. The attempted suicide thing is personally where I draw the line with all this bullshit. The fact that this whole fiasco, that was intended to be fun and interesting lore, drove someone to want to die, is absolutely horrendous, and anyone apart of the problem should be fucking ashamed.

Mark is currently still on the road of getting back home, so I forsee him realizing all of this chaos when he finally gets back to L.A. I’m sure he’ll take care of it then and address the situation when he can.

Right now, I think we should all be weary and there for each other.

I think it’s unfair to tell Mark to stop all of this, because there’s plenty of people still having fun with it, and Mark stopping the act won’t prevent people from finding other’s personal info. It just won’t.

I think we should all just calm down and try to enjoy Mark’s interaction with us; let’s have fun with this. Don’t let some fuck faces ruin it for you. If you get any dangerous messages from anyone, block them and report them. During this time, we should all just be there for each other! We shouldn’t be giving up and demanding Mark to stop.

Thank you for reading and I wish everyone well. I hope the person who attempted suicide is doing okay and is being supported and cared for. ♡

Update: The person who attempted suicide (Gage) literally almost died. Thankfully his friend called the police and they saved him just in the nick of time. Guys. This was VERY serious. They had to check for a pulse and everything.

Stop being asses, just have fun and take care of each other! Everyone keep Gage in your thoughts ♡

Yes if you’re still enjoying this, please go ahead! I’m still willing to answer asks, but they’ll be answered privately for those who don’t want to be involved. But yes, I’m still involved. Have fun guys! But be respectful.

the-real-bubblegum-bitch:

So I don’t know what I missed but if you sent anyone personal information, threats, etc, UNFOLLOW ME NOW.

That’s horrible and unacceptable. I know if I got sent stuff like that, as an underage teen girl with no ability to defend myself from say, an abduction, I would have gone into a panic attack, maybe even had to go to a crisis center. That would freak me the fuck out. Someone tried to KILL themselves because of this cult incident, it could have been any one of the people you sent information, if it wasn’t them.

That being said, if you participated by just having fun with the creepy nature, spamming people with “HAPPYHAPPYHAPPPY” or something like that, don’t worry. That’s all cool and dandy. Heck, I wish I had known so I could participate in that part. But it went too far.

Thanks for listening.