What would happen if an alien adopts a human?

strangehumanexcerpts:

If you ever find yourself in a position in which you need to care for and raise a human child, the number one thing to do is stay calm. Humans learn through imitation so if you are constantly exhibiting signs of discomfort, fear, and/or frustration, then you will find yourself with a very unhappy child indeed. Maintaining a calm exterior does not always guarantee a calm child, mind you, but it at least won’t exacerbate any bad moods they may be in. The second thing to do is keep in mind that human children are extremely dependent creatures. They need to be paid attention to at all times or next thing you know the child will somehow have managed to get into an escape pod and is trying to launch themself into the void of space. In addition to ensuring that they do not throw themselves into various haphazard situations, you must also remain vigilant in feeding them at the right times so as to not disturb their delicate circadian rhythms. Their diets must be rich in vitamins and other nutrients or you may risk them becoming malnourished and that is greatly frowned upon. Also, keep in mind that a great percentage of the human body is made up of water. It is easy for humans to become dehydrated while travelling, so make sure that you are always giving them enough water to keep them hydrated. Finally, if you have become the caretaker of a human child, do not be afraid to ask for help. Humans are exhausting at all ages so it is important to not take on too much responsibility on your own and overwork yourself. Remember that not every human child is the same so what may work for some children could be completely counterproductive for others. Don’t be afraid to try a few different things and keep in mind that no beings are perfect. Just be sure to learn from your mistakes and continue to move forward. Best of luck to you and all of your child-raising endeavors.

apitnobaka:

thecommunityoftrustworthysinks:

in infinity war i need thor to have no idea who peter is but he doesn’t ask, he just sees him using his tech and talking about designing something and interacting with tony, and at some point during the movie thor says to tony, “you should be proud of your son”

and tony’s like, “my what now”

”your son. peter?”

”…he’s not- you thought he was my sON?”

and thor gets like awkwardly defensive and goes “well…you know he has the…the electronics…”

#and if like three other people think so too #and tony goes RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU THOUGHT HE WAS MY SON #and hes hyperventilating a little #and like at least two people who should know better raise their hands #and rhodeys one of them #shrugs I THOUGHT YOU WETE KEEPING THIS ON THE DL #and then tony realizes peter ALSO raised his hand (x)

mivykitty:

elodieunderglass:

elodieunderglass:

mrkltpzyxm:

picsthatmakeyougohmm:

hmmm

@elodieunderglass horrible things with legs

Well I’d actually argue that the cat is fine, the smoking child is fine, and the Lincoln is….

is….

Actually I think this is a #perfectly reasonable thing that happens to have shapely legs , and I have no objection to it

I’m glad I had such a nuanced take on this, because I became curious about the context and tried looking the image up on google:

@haleyscomett