jumpingjacktrash:

motorizedduck:

harakanlompolo:

Translated:

Do you know what’s perfect?
Bear ears

correct

katesattic:

what-even-is-thiss:

conversationswithamillennial:

fangirltothefullest:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

Guys do centaurs have to eat both horse food and human food?

Centaur, eating out of a burlap sack of hay like it’s potato chips: So do you guys wanna get Chipotle later?

Centaur: *kneeling on the ground, ripping up bits of grass and eating it*

Nearby horse: *neighs*

Centaur: Well it’s easy for you to bend over, isn’t it?

Horse: *snorts*

Centaur: *through a mouthful of grass* Well goody goody for you, but some of us have two spines.

Human: Hey does somebody want the rest of my burger?

Centaur: Oh I’ll have it. I am starving.

Human: Didn’t you just eat like an entire barrel of hay?

Centaur: *snatches the burger* That was for the horse stomach not the human one. Don’t be racist, Carl.

DON’T BE RACIST CARL

That spine comment made me reevaluate my life

Two spines, two ribcages, and six limbs baby! And a tail! Four shoulders!

This is oddly unsettling.

disenfranchisedchads:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

fantheoriesandfoodporn:

Fun fact! According to folklorists, all myths, fairy tales and nursery rhymes that are about some dude named Jack are talking about the same guy

What this means is, that ever single one of the following

• Jack Be Nimble (who jumped over burning candles for fun)
• Jack the Giant Killer (who sold his cows for magic beans then robbed and killed a giant)
• Stingy Jack (who tricked the devil so many times he was banned from both afterlives)
• Jack of Jack and Jill (who splattered his head open falling down a hill)
• Jack o’ Lantern (the headless horseman spirit of halloween)
• Jack Frost (the spirit who heralds the end of autumn and the start of winter)

Are literally the same jackass who made so many bad life choices he ended up an immortal ice dullahan with a pumpkin serving as both his head and flashlight

but what an incredible journey he had getting there

He’s Ye Olde Florida Man

thealienonbroadway:

parzifalsjudgment:

achillvs:

garnetthefirst:

dusty-purple:

I just love the myth of Persephone, i mean the real, original version of it, because it’s not like she got kidnapped, no, this bitch was la-de-da-ing in a meadow and she just happened to find an entrance to the Underworld and she was like “Imma check this out”. And she just wanders into the Underworld and discovers that hey this place ain’t too bad.

Meanwhile Hades is in the background “????? UM??? PRETTY GIRL??? WHY ARE YOU HERE?????? YOU AREN’T DEAD???” 

And Persephone (who was originally called Kore just a little fyi) just looked at him and said “I like it here. I’m staying.”

And Hades kinda just went with it, until Demeter started throwing the temper tantrum of the millenium upstairs and Zeus had to intervene because this shit was getting out of hand and its actually his job to be admistrator of justice. Which considering the shit he gets up to is kinda histerical but that’s another story there. 

And basically Persephone wasn’t a prisoner or kidnap victim at all she just really loved the Underworld and her (eventual) husband, and the Greeks feared her arguably more than her husband because Hades could be reasoned with but Persephone was the one laying the smack down on sinners, and really, who wouldn’t be at least a little scared of someone who’s name means something along the lines of “the destroyer”

Basically, Persephone is amazing and everbody needs to get on her level

i think the best part of that myth is that Zeus decided to change Kore’s name to Persephone (basically “the one who brings chaos”) only because she wanted to stay in the underworld and SHE WOULDN’T FUCKING LISTEN then Zeus, all-mighty king of the gods, kinda gives up and goes “fine, but you’re going to visit your mom” “also, I changed your name” “get rekt”

Also, if I’m not mistaken, Kore means “little girl” so imagine going from that to “chaos bringer”

I mean, going from little girl to chaos bringer sounds like a p solid deal to me, sign me up.

This may not be the version of the myth that’s commonly known and taught. But is is the original, from before it was altered to scare Greek/Roman girls into submission. Persephone was a badass bitch.

fewlycewly:

brjanm:

fewlycewly:

brjanm:

fewlycewly:

brjanm:

fewlycewly:

got called ugly earlier at the park lads

tell us what happened lad

got called ugly at the park

ye but why

I was being ugly

at the park?

yeah it was at the park