i see this happen in the fandom a lot: someone sends someone a message saying “You’re amazing!” and the person says “your’e wrong!” and it goes back and forth and I get it, we’re being cute, but I want to put this idea out there:
When someone says “you’re amazing!” what they mean is “I think you’re amazing!” and if you argue, you’re not saying, “I do not perceive myself as amazing,” you’re saying, “Your perception of me is incorrect.”
You don’t have to love yourself. I get it. It’s hard sometimes. I have bad days too. I can’t tell you how to feel about yourself.
But if someone tells you you’re incredible, what they’re saying is they perceive you that way. And the best thing to do, honestly? Say thank you, and return the compliment if you want to.
Not only is it really nice to have your compliment validated, but if enough people tell you you’re amazing without you automatically arguing with them, you might start believing it yourself.
And if you absolutely can’t accept it, you can say, “I may not be able to see that in myself right now, but I am so glad and grateful that you do, so thank you.”
Let’s make ‘gracefully accepting compliments’ the standard of 2018. No more modesty in the form of constant self-deprecation. You might think you’re joking, or using it to cope. But as someone who did that for far too long, I can tell you: every mean thing you say about yourself only makes you hate yourself more. It is literally a form of psychological and emotional self-harm, and you don’t deserve that.
Because you–yes, YOU, the one reading this? You. Are. Amazing.
I love you guys.
I…. actually needed this today. Thank you. 💙
Thank you for putting it into words, LJ! I always feel a little off when someone disregards my praise with self-deprication. I’m not offended or frustrated or anything, but it hurts a little when people who I see as kind and amazing put themselves down.
I’ve started approaching compliments in this way a few months ago and it really works! I really think my self image has improved and now I’m even confident enough to look at my body in the mirror and like what I see. There may be more reasons for that than just accepting compliments, but that definitely helped me on the way 😀
This is something I need to learn for myself. I always feel that no matter what good compliments people have for me in posts or messages I don’t deserve it.
Because so many of you deserve happiness or praise so much more than me. I feel like I’ve done nothing to earn it.
But… This is a really good mentality to have, thank you.
“Because so many of you deserve happiness or praise so much more than me.”
FIN if I catch you repeating that self-depreciating bullshit again, I swear to ANTI that I will become a fucking Holy Terror™. Do not test me. If someone compliments, praises or thanks you, they definitely think you deserve it. You did something right for them, whether you know it or not, so you earned it. Please be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
And going off the original OP’s point of convincing yourself you don’t deserve happiness or compliments, it breaks my heart when I see tags on text posts like ‘personal’ ‘amy speaks’ ‘shut up amy no one cares’ Please don’t do that to yourself.
O.o Got it! Not saying it again. Nope. (pls no holy terror™) Also “please be as kind to yourself as you are to others”… Damn. That hit harder than I expected.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Be kind to yourselves and look at the good. Seeing flaws are so much easier to examine, but we are our own worst critics. If we can’t find the positives in ourselves, then accept those from others who can see it on the outside.
Because they see something that’s really there.
Ok guys let’s try something
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