On the theme of Humans are Space Orcs

thetimelordofthebooks:

Okay, so there’s been a ton of Humans are weird/Space Orcs and Earth is Space Australia stuff going around, and there’s like one common thread that is in all of them.

The human manual/guidebook.

So I’ve taken a shot at it.

                          THE HUMAN GUIDEBOOK (Slilaxirth Edition)

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        Please see your local database for any other alien editions. Note that the Glaglag and Thoed editions may be unavailable due to the frustration of the researchers of those species. Note also that only editions for races in sectors 3095 through 7088 will be available, since that is the farthest humans have really traveled.

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This book is accurate to the best of our knowledge, but recognizing that Humans are a relatively new species, we invite any how have interacted with humans and found something either not covered or contrary to the text to send us a datachip with their species, name, contact information, and a detailed report of the interaction(s) concerning the new information to the Central Intergalactic Database, with the additional label HGA(species identification number). We will evaluate the report, and if additions to the book are necessary, we will update the book. Please be sure to check every cycle for updates, as we are sure there is much about the humans we do not understand. Thank you very much.       –HGA

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TABLE OF CONTENTS [no page numbers yet. I’ll get there. I’m also going to skip a lot of detail here]

Introduction and Warnings

Part I –Earth: The Planet of Death

Part II –Humans

{….to be continued}