(Happy to comply! Thank you for the prompt :D)
“Yo, Schneep, dude? I can’t find Jackaboy Man.” Chase poked his head into the doctor’s room, rubbing his neck worriedly as he looked over his shoulder. “I checked all over the house and he’s just not there.”
“Oh, zhe supah hero? I sent heem ovah to Iplier HQ,” Dr. Schneeplestein waved his hand dismissively, writing notes down on his computer at an ungodly speed. Upon closer inspection, Chase realized that he was writing everything with his own signature accent.
“Uh, why over there? Bro, there’s… people there. He hates people,” Chase responded quizzically.
“Dr. Iplier vanted to try and figure out how Jack can do zhe flying,” the good doctor explained. “For research. Zhat reminds me, I need to know vhen I shood pick heem up.”
“I can do that, then. See ya, dude,” Chase dabbed and ducked out of the doorframe, closing the door behind him. Turning to the kitchen, he tried to throw a teabag at the phone to knock it off its charging station. When that didn’t work, he sighed and picked it up, dialing the number of Iplier HQ.
“Iplier HQ, how can I help you?” A voice sounded from the other end of the line.
“Yo, it’s Chase. Can I talk to Dr. Iplier?” Chase asked, piling his teabags on top of each other to make a teetering castle.
“Yes you can. I’ll patch you through. This is Oliver, by the way. Could you tell?” Becoming more excited, the robot’s voice glitched in a similar fashion to Anti.
Chase shuddered. “No, I couldn’t, dude! You sound so profresh,” he answered after a moment, grinning as he heard the robot beep in confusion.
“Searching for ‘profesh’. Did you mean ‘you sound so profess?’” Oliver asked.
“Ah, never mind.”
“Deleting search. Please hold.”
Chase blew down his teabag castle and started to fiddle with his nerf gun clip.
“Dr. Iplier speaking.”
“Yo, doc! It’s Chase. Just checking to see when I should pick up Jackie!” Chase lifted his head, bumping his head on the kitchen cabinets. Pressing his lips together, he stumbled out of the way and glared at the cabinet.
“I’m sorry…he’s dying.”
Chase stopped, clutching the bump on his head. “What?”
“I know this may come as a shock, and there’s really no easy way to say this, but Jackaboy Man is dying. Oh, he just died.” The doctor sighed.
Chase tried to speak but no words would come out.
“I’ll just… I’ll leave you alone to your thoughts,” Dr. Iplier said, and hung up.
Setting down the phone, Chase trudged to the recording room where Jack was. Holding back tears, he knocked on the door.
“Come in!” Was the response. Chase opened the door, seeing Jack’s face fall as he took off his headphones and noticed the Ego’s look of sorrow. “Hey, Chase, are you okay?”
“Dude… Jackaboy is dead!” Chase exclaimed, a tear rolling down his cheek as he put a hand to his mouth, letting out shaking sobs.
“…what?” Jack demanded, jumping up from his chair. “Jackie’s dead?!”
Marvin’s door flew open as he heard the ruckus. “Are you serious?!”
Chase nodded, turning to look at the magician in grief. Marv closed his mouth and blinked in shock.
Jack shook his head. “Woah woah woah, what happened?”
Chase pointed to the kitchen. “I called the doctor- he was at Iplier HQ and Dr. Iplier was doing a test on him and he just died, bro!”
Holding up his hands, Jack scoffed. “Wait. Did Mark’s doctor Ego tell you that?”
Chase nodded.
Jack stomped over to the kitchen, the two Egos in tow. Glitching into the kitchen, Anti appeared, resting his elbows on the counter and leaning forwards. “Something the matter?” He shrieked, smiling deviously.
“Jackie’s dead, Anti!” Chase moaned, rubbing his eyes at an attempt not to cry.
Anti’s happy look disappeared. “Well, that’s not fair. I didn’t even get to kill him,” he muttered, disappointed.
Jack ignored the talk and picked up the phone, dialing the phone.
“Iplier HQ, how may I help you? I said may instead, I think that adds more of a polite tone.” Oliver sounded pleased with himself.
“Ollie, patch me through to the doctor.” Jack was in no mood for games. His eyebrows were furrowed in an angry look, mouth small with fury.
Without another word, the yellow robot hit a few buttons and the doctor’s voice came on the line. “Dr. Iplier speaking.”
“Hey, Doc. It’s Jack. What the fuck is your problem?” Jack wasted no time in getting to the point, fingers drumming an aggressive beat on the counter. Anti backed away from the counter, deigning instead to sit on one of the kitchen chairs.
“Language, Jack. What seems to be the problem?” Dr. Iplier responded absentmindedly.
“Doc! You gotta stop telling people that everyone’s dying all the time! Is it a nervous tick? Because you need to say that when it happens! You made everyone here have a nervous breakdown because they thought poor Jackie had died!” Jack snapped. Behind him, Chase stopped crying. Wiping his hands on his shirt, he looked at Jack, confused. Marvin looked from one Ego to the other, trying to determine what was happening.
“My… my apologies, Jack. I’ll send the superhero home right away. Bye now,” the doctor stammered. His voice became far away as he yelled, “Jackaboy! We’re going back to your place now. I’ll get Green to drive you. Again, I’m so sorry,” he reiterated, his voice closer to the phone now.
“If anything like this happens again, I will be getting in touch with Mark,” Jack warned, the bite in his voice dying down. The doctor apologized again, embarrassed, and hung up.
“Gee, Jack, didn’t know you had it in you,” Anti laughed from his place at the table, narrowing his eyes at the green-haired man with subtle interest.
“Hey, I don’t care if you do anything to me, Anti. But mess with my bouncing baby boys-” Jack ruffled Chase and Marvin’s hair, smiling- “or any of the community, and I will personally make sure hell rains down upon you.”
“Good to know,” Anti mused, getting up and dematerializing with a grin. Jack rolled his eyes at where the dramatic Ego had stood.
Chase sighed in relief. “Well, thank you for clearing that up, dude. That was the most terrifying thing to happen in my entire LIFE!” Marvin nodded in subdued agreement.
Suddenly, the door to the good doctor’s room swung open. “Vhat zhe fuck ees all zhe noise?” Dr. Schneeplestein demanded. “Chase, if you don’t stop zhees racket, my next Bio Inc. Redemption patient vill be you!”
Chase shared a look of mock terror with Jack. “Yikes, dude. Better get back to the basement. See you!” Waving goodbye, he charged towards to stairs, yelling, “360 NOSCOPE!” And jumped over the railing, slinging the teabags to the basement floor.
“Zis muzzafucka,” the doctor muttered, glaring at the two remaining Egos. Jack watched him shut the door, then waved goodbye to Marvin and headed back to the recording room, shaking his head with resigned amusement.
Hmm… if you’re doing prompts (i love everything you’ve written so far btw!) then how about one where the egos all think one of them (you choose which one) has died, but it turns out they were totally fine all along. (I’m picturing this as light and funny, but I could see a mix of fluff or angst dropped in there somewhere.) Thanks! :D
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