Space Orcs- By the Seat of her Pants

marveloverthinker:

Skrakt took no pride when he told people that he was the finest pilot in the Federation Fifth Fleet, operating out of Arcturus. Pride was a byproduct of uncertainty, an accident of coincidence and perceived achievement, and for him, probability had no place in the cockpit. He flew well because he knew every eventuality, every variable, and took the path that assured safe arrival for ship and crew, as was a pilot’s duty.

It was, therefore, something of a bother when Candace came on board. A recent graduate of the Federations Human Ascent program, she was among the first of her species to learn how to fly under the power of Photocollision drive, and had requested a placement on Skrakt’s ship when she was attached to the Fifth fleet for observation.

Oh, her management of the controls was exemplary (he had worried that her oddly mismatched limbs would present difficulty, but she had simply shrugged and said it would be “just like driving stick,”) but she also was unbelievably reckless. He had, on no fewer than four occasions, watched her simply slide into the pilot seat and take the controls without even a GLANCE at the sensor readouts, once narrowly avoiding a blindside Asteroid that came within a dozen kilometers of removing the ship’s rear engines with severe blunt force trauma.

Skrakt knew that piloting took patience, but it had run out, and he had informed the fleet Admiral, under no uncertain terms, that Candace was not to fly any ship that he was responsible for. It was potentially a diplomatic problem, but that was for diplomats to solve. To his great surprise, however, her only reaction was a smile.

“I hate when other jocks fly my birds, too.”

Then, the Althalan fleet attacked.

Skrakt’s ship, which had been busy surveying a star nursery, was caught by surprise, and the shields only barely prevented the original salvo from ripping the hull clear off. Caught between the fleet and the stars, Skrakt saw no clear escape, and for the first time in his piloting career, didn’t know what to do.

Candace, sitting in the co-pilot’s chair, pointed to the nursery. “Go through the stars! They’d be crazy to follow us!”

While Skrakt was forced to agree, it wasn’t the reassurance she clearly thought it was. “We haven’t mapped it!” He howled. “It’s a maelstrom of radiation, hot gasses, and forming stars! We don’t know all the variables… we barely know a quarter of them!”

“You gotta feel it out…” she responded. While he stared ahead, almost blank in terror, the ship rocked under yet another salvo from the Althalan fleet. She grabbed her flight controls, feet splaying out to reach the lower controls. “Give me the conn…” she said, quietly.

It was her tone, so assured it almost was like a perfect flight path. Skrakt watched his appendage hit the switch that granted control to the co-pilot terminal, and gasped as she pulled the ship around and punched it with a loud whoop into the nebula at full speed.

Almost immediately, the screen shorted out.

“You can’t see!” Skrakt cried out, but Candace only shrugged, her eyes closed except for the occasional glance at her readouts.

“Nothing to see but bright gas, anyway. Now hush…” The ship lurched crazily as she hurtled it through the inferno of death all around them. Scanners indicated that every ship that had tried to follow them was already a slag of radioactive material being pulled into the mass of a new star to be, but Candace flew on, and the longer they went, the smoother it went, with the frightening jerks and bumps becoming almost… smooth.

When the screens went back up, Candace looked almost embarrassed. “The gas had eddys, currents. It was a lot like surfing, back home. Back to base for repairs?”

Skrakt could only stare for a moment before nodding dumbly and watching as this insane creature, supposedly here to learn from HIM, eased the battered ship on it’s way back home.

He didn’t know what surfing was… and he was pretty sure he didn’t ever want to know.

Dark: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist? Anti: Yes. Dark: I was hula hooping. Wilford and I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Anti: Oh my God. Dark: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle. Anti: Why are you telling me this? Dark: Because no one will ever believe you. Anti: You sick son of a bitch.

darkwarf:

is

is this from an actual thing and are those actually hula hoop moves

OH BOY, HERE WE GO.

amyxmiaplay:

booperdooperladdies:

southerndragontamer:

isa-ghost:

At 3:44 in Jack’s Baby VR video today (March 9), there’s a whisper that says “Where is he?”

I firmly believe this isn’t part of the game.
Why?

  • Jack would’ve reacted to a whisper in his ear.
  • “Where is he” is PROBABLY referencing Schneeplestein. Jack’s been asked about where he is a lot lately… Wtf else could it possibly mean?
  • (The wise words of @rogue-of-broken-time) It wouldn’t be part of the game, because there were no other characters
    there, and even if it was supposed to symbolize a parent wondering where
    the “child” wandered off to, it wouldn’t, because he was still within the playpen at that point. 

This is how the Antipocalypse starts up, guys. Countless hints and references (been going on for about a month now), then tiny “easter eggs” in videos (voices, thumbnail details, odd titles, lighting on Jack’s facecam). Then from there, the match gets struck and the community goes up in flames.

Pretty sure this is the start of the easter egg phase. Buckle the fuckle up, fellow theorists.

We may be getting the Glitch Demon back, guys! This may be the start of another storm! Batton down the hatches, buckle up and get your theorists kit ready, we’re gonna need em.

The Antipocalypse is slowly upon us, and with PAX East coming up as well..

Oohh……PREPARE YOURSELF

“Where are you”

chase-brody-protection-squad:

chaenir-sam:

Yesterday in Babyhands, we had this whisper, asking, to maybe not Jack, but probably the child in the video
“Where is he”

I’m going off from the theory I had yesterday which you can read here:
http://chaenir-sam.tumblr.com/post/171702483224/where-is-he

Then today in

WHAT’S HIDING INSIDE YOU!? | Concourse

He goes pulling out his eyeballs

Then while he’s doing his outro he is asking us
“Where are you”
And somehow, A child replies, someone with a child’s voice replies giving him directions on where to go, where to look.

It’s the child from yesterday. The child from babyhands giving directions.
To his father. To Chase Brody.
As I said before children are awfully honest. The child is going, the child is in the grasp of Anti. Leading him straight to where his father is.
The child is probably thinking this is just a game, leading someone who cannot see.

Child’s play.

Get Schneeple out of your head to now, think of who we really need to protect. Before it’s too late. Anti hasn’t found Chase yet. We can still save him.
@chase-brody-protection-squad , @lum1natrix , @fear-is-nameless , @hufflepufftrax​
Before i go screeching into your dm’s again here you go

NOT MY BOI

I SWEAR TO FUCK ANTI WILL GET THESE HANDS STRAIGHT ACROSS HIS FACE 😤