wordswithkittywitch:

luciferlaughs:

Scientists have discovered how to make glow-in-the-dark cats by

inserting the jellyfish genes that create fluorescent proteins into feline eggs.

I needed to check that this was real, and apparently, it is. What’s more, the end goal in these experiments was to fight feline AIDS, creating glow-in-the-dark cats was a side effect. That might be the greatest sentence I write this year.

grrlcookery:

hotmolasses:

fattyatomicmutant:

wivernryder:

The auxiliary water pump on my car broke (the plastic rotted and cracked so it was spewing coolant everywhere) and the mechanic wanted me to pay $300 for a $150 part.

I went to an auto store and bought the part for just under $150 and was gonna have the mechanic install it until I called them back and they said they don’t install customer parts.

So I figured if they won’t install customer parts, they’ll at least fix existing problems with the vehicle.

So, naturally I poorly installed the new part myself, then took it to the mechanic saying I had coolant issues and wasn’t sure what the problem was. They fixed the problem in under 20 minutes and only charged me $30 for the labor.

Ho l y

Imma try that last one

I went to my doctor’s office and asked if they had any slots open for that day.  They told me they don’t take walk-ins, you have to call ahead for an appointment.

So I pulled out my phone and called the office.  The other receptionist answered the phone and the first one literally WATCHED ME say “I’d like to make an appointment today if you have any slots available.”

He said to me (on the phone) all they had available was for 9:00, could I make it in time?

I said “Yep, I’m standing right here.”

He didn’t understand what I meant and happily put my appointment down.

I hung up and said to the original receptionist, “Hi, I have an appointment in five minutes.”

She (very angrily) entered me as arrived and gave me my forms.

I love this

inspectorclarke:

octoberreads:

farashasilver:

lycanography:

What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”

Honestly I just want an AU where Harry approached all his magical problems with muggle solutions. Nobody knows how to handle it because he’s supposed to be there learning magic but you know what, it fucking works.

Give me Harry Potter who is like fucking MacGuyver up in this shit, creating his own non-magical solutions to magical problems.

“Potter how did you get past the enchanted keys to the Sorcerer’s Stone?”

“I used a fucking net.”

“How did you get past the dragon?”

Harry shines a little red light on the wall “works on cats, why not a dragon”

“How did you get through the hedge maze?”

“Weed-b-gone, it’s like a pound. Nothing will ever grow there again”

“How did you kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?”

“Shotgun.”

baronfulmen:

prosperosfootnotes:

orc-lady-unabi:

spaffy-jimble:

undercover-underdog:

For those of you who don’t know, I work at an anarchist co-op coffee shop.

Apparently, all the Chicano/Cholo boys in my neighborhood have caught on the the fact that I sneak food and stuff to all the little punk kids and homeless kids at the coffee shop.

There are three in particular who call me Mom.
Not Mami, not Ma, Mom.
The rest refer to me as “Miss”.

They’ve decided to always have one of the three of them there with me on my night shifts. (Especially after they witnessed the last bad shift where I had to kick a bunch of tweakers out. Said tweakers lit my fucking bulletin board on fire.)

Tonight, one of the boys actually charged up a crackhead who wouldn’t get out when I told him to leave.

About an hour later, I was emptying bus tubs when that same lovely boy walked in and wetted a wash rag. I asked what he was doing and he told me not to worry. So, I went about my business, doing dishes, bussing the main dining tables, etc.

I’d left a broom in the smoking room and a fresh trash bag in the bathroom for once I was done with the dishes.

When I walked out, everything was spotless and the trash had been replaced. He’d wiped all my tables, swept, mopped, and emptied all the ash trays.

He’d also picked the lock on the bathroom so his friend could take out the trash for me. (Which I’m not sure whether I should scold him for. Haha)

They snuck around and did my closing shift duties to thank me for keeping them warm and fed.

I’m fucking crying.

Kindness begets kindness.

Picking a lock so you can take out trash for someone who’s nice to you is the most chaotic good thing i’ve ever heard. ❤

Behold, beloved: the world is not so dark as it may sometimes seem.

This is like in the stories where little fey creatures make shoes for the cobbler at night or whatever.