Roman: Who here eats pizza crust?
Virgil: I eat pizza starting with the crust.
Roman: …
Roman: Do you understand how upsetting what you just said was?
I have a headcanon that Virgil eats everything the wrong way because he ate alone for most of his life and never really learned what the proper way to eat things was. Then Roman and Logan freaked out about how he eats things and he decided he was never gonna do it the right way now, just to bug them.
I can imagine this before “accepting anxiety” at a point where they were everyone is already used to having him around but still not decidedly getting along;
One day all three other sides are at the kitchen chatting over breakfast, when suddenly Virgil walks in through the door. Everyone falls silent as he just stands there, holding his hands up in some kind of salute like a master of ceremony, a x4 bar of kit kat in his hand.
Then he brings it to his mouth, bites all 4 pieces horizontally at once, puts it down on the counter and walks away, leaving behind groans of frustration and confusion, and a particular voice just screaming “DISHONOR”.
One time, Virgil just bites into a hard boiled egg with the shell still on. The others look at him in unbridled horror. Virgil is unfazed by the sickening crunch. Logan begins to weep. Roman faints in Patton’s arms.
The first time he had a fortune cookie no one told him there was paper inside so he just kinda popped the whole thing in at once and they all had a heart attack
And instead of sucking on suckers he either straight up crunches them or pulled the sucker part off the stick with his teeth then sucks on it/crunches it
I still love this headcanon. All these additions are amazing.
Stop this.
Never.
It makes me sad,
THAT ISNT HOW YOU EAT A KITKAT.
WHY WOULD YOU EAT THE SHELL OF AN EGG???????
He also eats bananas sideways, and doesn’t peel them. He doesn’t peel oranges either.
Guys……this is awesome
Thank you. I am glad I’m not disturbing everyone.
he eats apples bottom up
this whole post? cursed.
Do you mean blessed?
Bringing this back because I still love it so much it makes me so happy
ngl this is one of my favorite posts ever
That makes me unreasonably happy
Virgil: *in the kitchen at 2 am, eating poptart crusts but not the frosting’d part*
Remy: *walks in*
Remy: *stares*
Virgil: …
Remy: *grabs soda bottle and shakes it before drinking a mouthful like a shot*
Virgil: …
Remy: …. Noice.
Sleep approved this message
why the fuck is this on my dash again
I brought it back
I feel like he also eats ramen without cooking it.
Oh yeah 100%
Once a kid at lunch did that and we all just watched in horror as he just bit down at it spilled everywhere because we had to clean up our tables.
We were perfectly fine with him eating uncooked ramen. We just refused to clean it.
That’s amazing
Deceit definitely does this too, just to annoy everyone
this post is cursed.
*Blessed
Y’all know that video where the girl puts milk in the bowl, cuts a gash in the side of the cereal bag, pours it sideways, drinks the milk from the bowl and eats the cereal with a fork? Virgil does that.
Heck yeah he does
Published
A Glitch Named Anti 