weartirondad:

stuckonylove:

Summary of Methods Used to Get Tony to Eat

Steve: Tony, I brought you some food.

Tony: Sorry cap, I’m busy

Steve: *puppy dog eyes*

Tony: ……. okay

Success rate 60%

__________

Bucky: I made you some food.

Tony: Sorry robocop, I’m busy.

Bucky: I slaved all morning to make you something, the least you could do is eat it you little shit! *tries to shove food down Tony’s throat*

Success rate 20%

__________

Pepper: Hey Tony, I brought food.

Tony: Sorry Pep, can’t right now.

Pepper: I also brought coffee

Tony: Oh gimme! *grabby hands*

Pepper: Food first though

Tony: But coffee!

Success rate 45%

__________

Stephen: Tony I brought you food

Tony: Can’t right now Doc, busy.

Stephen: We can either do this the easy or hard way

Tony: what’s the hard way?

Stephen: I make a portal into your stomach, but trust me it won’t be comfortable

Success rate 14% [Well 100% if he uses the portal but then Tony won’t speak to him for a week]

___________

Rhodey: Hey Tones! Brought you food

Tony: Ah sorry honey bear, but I’m busy.

Rhodey: It’s burgers

Tony: ..well

Rhodey: with milkshakes!

Tony: ….I guess

Rhodey: And if you don’t I’ll let hammer upgrade war machine

Tony: YOU WOULDN’T DARE

Success rate 40%

__________

Natasha: Tony, here’s food. *drops on table*

Tony: Sorry itsy bitsy, I’m busy

Natasha: *murder glare*

Tony: *nervous sweating*

Natasha: *narrows eyes* Well?

Tony: *slowly reaches for food*

Success rate 80%

__________

Peter: Mr. Stark, I’m hungry. Can we go out to eat?

Tony: *drops everything* Sure kid. I’ll always have time for you

Peter: *beams*

Success rate 100%

THIS IS THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!