My most random headcanons, Iplier edition.

wrong-anti:

Dark: Not evil. Prince, but of fuck knows what. Plays piano. Absolutely despises the ocean. Crush on Anti but won’t friggin admit it. Hella good actor. Bisexual dumbass. Genuinely an emotional person but bottles it up. Has a hitlist and Chase is at number 1. Can create a blue and red pulse around him just to scare people. It doesn’t actually do anything. DOGS.

Google: Can change his emotion as needed. Thinks laws are for pussies. His weakness is he needs to charge every 7 hours. Literally uses an internal Google search to look up answers but because it’s the internet half the stuff he says is wrong. His second weakness is his love for Chica. He’d die for that dog.

Bing: Really dumb. Thinks he’s hip but is at least three years behind on trends. Doesn’t have a crush. Is straight. K he kinda has a crush on Chase. Maybe a little gay. Okay, maybe a lot gay. Waddup, I’m Bing, I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read. Really doesn’t understand when people are tryna get in with him. Has broken at least 50 skateboards in the past 4 years. Pronounces a lot of words wrong. Emojis.

Wilford: Doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing with his life. His afro is fake. Probably ripped the wings off butterflies when he was little. His moustache is fake too. Or is it? Really likes to confuse people. Or does he? Makes people question themselves and everything. Looking at him for too long can give you hiccups. Has a Spotify playlist full of psychotic songs.

Jim Twins: Really good at finishing each other’s sentences. Most people think they can communicate via telekinesis. Run blogs on all social media where they post random pictures of animals with stupid captions. The only thing they know how to do on a camera is stop and start videos. Their microphone doesn’t actually work. Really enjoy messing with people by pretending to be the other twin. Once they did this for so long that they forgot which twin they were.

Dr Iplier: Used to be a really good doctor but kinda just stopped being good. Thinks Schneep is an idiot. But it’s because of jealousy. Finds it really funny when people trip over. Probably doesn’t really care about the other egos as much as he should. Plays Crossy Road in his spare time. Ohmyfuckinggod she fucking deaddd.

King of the Squirrels: Genuinely thinks squirrels can understand him. Is actually allergic to peanuts. Broke his crown when he tripped running after squirrels. Can’t ride a bike. Had a meltdown when he discovered he was allergic to peanuts. Has zero power over the other egos. Ya, he isn’t a king. Soz buddy.