storytimewithv:

Humans are space orcs

Ok but have you ever considered how easy humans are to scare? Like I can imagine if aliens were a weaker species but for some reason or another needed us out of their way on earth (maybe they want to take some soil tests or something idk), but like maybe they’re too scared of us to negotiate and ask us peacefully so instead it goes kinda like this:

“Ok team, our mission is to collect as many different samples from this human planet ‘Earth’ as we can. Luckily for us, they are quite easy to intimidate if we go about it the right way. Humans have these things called ‘horror films’ in which they observe that which they fear most safely, and from a distance. The humans are unaware that we are on this mission. We need to look and act like the fearsome beings from the films they fear. You will each be assigned a disguise, and if a human spots you, you will act according to protocol, and frighten them. They will…most likely, flee.”

“Sir, what should we do if they don’t run away?” A smaller, six limbed soldier asked.

“…get away as fast as you can. Alert us, and we will all evacuate immediately. Humans are…very, very dangerous. Stronger and faster than any of us could ever be. We are relying on their fear. If they don’t flee, they could easily kill you.”

So basically, we scare easy, but if we fight, we never lose. Humans are literally brutal. We punch, kick, scratch, bite, use things as weapons, you name it, we’ll do it.