“What’s on your computer screen?”

pettyrevenge-base:

Like
most people, I can’t stand when the “Microsoft” telemarketers call and
try to get information from me. I usually hang up on the immediately,
but one day I was feeling bored and decided to fuck around with them.
The call started as normal,

“Hello ma’am, your Microsoft computer has sent us an alert saying it has a virus.”

Now, I knew that none of my computers were infected, but I needed to
play the idiot. I told him that I had multiple Microsoft computers and
asked which one had the virus. After stumbling over his words for a
minute, he finally settled on “all of them” as a response. I kept asking
 what the message said and eventually he handed me off to someone else
(without muting the line. I could totally hear him handing off the
receiver). This time, a female voice began speaking to me.

“What’s on your computer screen?”

“My desktop,” I say.

“What’s​ on your desktop?”

“Oh! A picture.”

“No, what applications are on your desktop?”

“My internet?”

At this point, she gives up and hands the phone back to the first guy
to ask me the same questions. When I give him the same dumb answers, I
get handed off to a third person, who is clearly supposed to be some
sort of manager.

“Do you think this is some sort of joke? Your computer has a virus! You need to tell us what’s on your computer!”

He keeps yelling at me, trying to intimidate me into giving him more information. I’m highly enjoying his tirade.

“If my computer sent you the message, shouldn’t you know what’s on it?”

That seems to completely set him off. He starts screaming at me,
telling me to suck his dick and finally calls me a prostitute. At that
point, I completely lose it and start laughing. I’ve never had anyone
call me that before, not even when I worked customer service. I caught
my breath long enough to tell him how easy it was to fuck with them and
hung up on him mid rant.

TL;DR: Scammers tried calling me, so I wasted 30 minutes of their day