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Percussive maintenance

So looking at the Humans are space orcs and earth is space Australia tags I have been thinking. Ailen technology must be ahead of ours, but I bet they never would have thought of the ways we repair ours.

X’allos has been working with human John for 3 weeks now in the engineering department. Their job was to ensure that the ship remained fully operational. Unfortunately for the two of them there was a major problem. The warp cores plasma dampeners were vibrating an excessive amount. If they continued, plasma will vent into the room killing them and possibly lead to a breach of the core.

“Human John!” X’allos exclamed, “Get over here, I need your assistance!”

“I hear it,” Replied John, alarms blaring across the engine room, “will begin venting excess plasma immediately. How long before breach?”

“It looks like, gods, less then 2 minutes!” Replied X’allos, “If we dont stop the vibrations soon we’re done for!

Suddenly John stopped what he was doing, “Wait, vibrations? Why didnt you just say so.” John then walked into the side room where the tools are kept.

“Human John! What are do doing!” Shouted X’allos, panic seeping into his voice. “We have precious little time for human games. I do not wish to die here!”

John returned, holding a copper pipe in his hands, and valted the safty railing. “Dont worry X’all, I’ll handle this.”

“Handle this, human John what are you…” X’allos then cut himself off with a scream as John hit the warp core with the pipe.

X’allos rushed John, before he could hit it again, pinning his arms at his side. “Have you lost your mind human John!?!” X’allos was practically shaking with fear at this point. “What if your actions have doomed us all!?!”

“But X’all…”

“I had heard humans were reckless, almost to the point of being suicidal but I never would have believed it if I hadnt seen it myself.”

“X’allos.”

“So this is it, this is my fate…”

“X’allos!” Exclaimed John, “Listen, isn’t it awfully quite in here?”

X’allos raised his head and heard only the faint hum of the engines and his own heavy breathing. The alarms were silent. “But how?” He asked.

“I thought everyone knew.” Replied John, “For a quick fix always try hitting it really hard.”