Let me start off by saying: my father
is abusive, and this post will (hopefully) be the only way for me to
get out of my abusive household.
I’ll explain to you guys a few things
so that you can understand my current situation:
My father is the father of all
control freaks.
I am 19 years of age – legally an adult
in Canada. However, he will not allow me to be independent, such as
having my own cat or my own vehicle in my name, and he also uses
these things as a form of blackmail to keep me in the house.
He controls how much time I spend
on the internet, and who I talk to; he went as far as illegally
running background checks on my former partners. I have little to
no privacy, he periodically rummages through my room to find
something to yell at me about, and if he doesn’t, he yells at me
for the mess *he* left.
Moreover, he has denied me medical
treatment multiple times, even for serious injuries (e.g. a
dislocated elbow).
Starting in high-school up until now, I
have suffered from several mental illnesses, including depression,
extreme anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD caused by severe trauma that
lasted 5 years of my childhood and has left massive gaps in my
memory. All of these mental illnesses have had a huge impact on my
life, not just at home, but in my school work as well, and my
day-to-day life.
However, my father does not believe any
of my trauma is real, says it’s my fault if I was traumatised,
constantly belittles me for my mental health problems, and says I’m
making everything up for attention.
On top of that, he is abusive to my
siblings too; one of them is older and already moved out, and the
other one is only 14 years old.
Finally, my father told me that if I do
not do what he wants and go to school, I will be kicked out onto the
street, family ties cut, and *everything* I own taken from me. My
cat, will not only be taken away but “gotten rid of” by their
words which could mean a number of things.
However, if I graduate a program in
college I can leave the house and bring my cat, Molly, with me. This
is her!:
(She isn’t actually mad her face just looks like that)
And I also get to keep my
vehicle. Both of these things are not in my name even though
currently I pay for them both, and take care of them completely by
myself. The car is relatively unimportant to me as I don’t consider
it an essential but Molly must come with me.
I currently have no money
saved up for post secondary education, due to my mental health
disintegrating thanks to a disability in the middle of my first year
of nursing, and me losing the capability to witness deaths in the
hospital placement. And all of this wasting all the funds I had
saved. On top of this, he has said that he expects me to go back to
school in January, which as of right now is not financially possible.
He has said that if I do not go back to school by January then I am
to be kicked out. However, if I can reason with my mother then I can
possibly push this back to September of 2018, which will most likely
give me enough time to gather the funds.
So as I said, I need to get out of my
abusive household as soon as possible, because it’s extremely
detrimental to my already fragile mental health. This is whyI
am opening the doors for commissions of any and all kinds to help
save money for this plan.
I am not asking for donations,
and I am not asking for hand-outs, because I honestly hate asking for
help and I don’t like just taking people’s money without giving
something in return. If you are unable to or do not wish to help by
commissioning then all I ask is that you reblog this post so
that it can be seen.
Here is the plan:
My father, of course, said he refuses to
help me in the slightest if I wanted to move, so, I don’t get even
a bit of help from my family. That’s why I need to save more money
to get in and finish a ONE YEAR program so that I can seal the
devil’s deal and get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible (the
shortest college programs run for one year). Right now, I work a
part-time job that only earns me minimum wage, and still have bills
to pay on top of that. I am unable to get a second job as my
disability doesn’t allow for it, and because of this I am not making
enough money to save for school in time for January. I am not going
to be depending solely on commissions to save the money, as I AM
working, it’s just that extra push to get things done.
I’m sure, however, that
you’re wondering why I don’t just leave. And believe me, I have tried
to. Here is a short list of examples of what my father is like and
why I cannot leave of my own free will:
1. Once, I ran away
in the middle of the night after a massive fight, he called the
police on me and told them I had drugs in my possession (obviously, a
lie) to get me searched and arrested. There is a great possibility of
this happening again if I tried to get away even though I am an
adult, he’d do anything to try and get me arrested.
2. I
tried to leave to a friend’s house for refuge during a massive fight
over laundry, which led to my father furiously chasing me down the
driveway to my car. There, I sat with the doors locked and windows
rolled up while he banged on them and tried to rip open the door for
a good 20 minutes. He then said if I left the driveway *in the car
that is actually mine*, he would call the police and tell them I had
stolen it to get me arrested again.
3. While he is not physically
abusive, he has tried to hit me. During yet another fight, which
involved him coming into my bedroom while I was sleeping in the
middle of the night to yell at me for something minor I can’t even
remember, he attempted to grab my face and hit me. I have without a
doubt that he will make some kind of physical attempt at keeping me
from leaving the house.
I have tried to fight fire with fire
so many times, and every time it has just ended with more violence
and abuse. For the past several years I have tried to escape or find
ways out, and have failed. Getting through the next year or two with
my head low, doing what he says and taking the punches as they come
is the only way out.
Thank-you, for reading through this to
the end. If you are interested in helping and want a commission
please message me, or send me an ask if you have questions, and we
can work out details and prices. If you still wish to help but cannot
commission all I ask is that you re-blog this post.
I will be
posting some recent drawings Ive been working on for examples.
boost
These are examples of her amazing art peeps. (also check her blog) Please help her, even just one reblog counts ❤
A Glitch Named Anti 