on the one hand, he’s going to dine out on this story amongst his racist friends for years, telling them about how the violent leftists attacked him and so forth. on the other hand, not every edgelord is willing to pay the dental bills that come with that kind of sob story, so y’all are probably keeping the population down.
i just wish people would be more creative. i mean yeah, seeing this shitshow get clocked satisfies the angry monkey inside. but imagine how much better it would be to watch people follow him around singing ‘the song that never ends’ until he breaks down sobbing.
basically, you gave him what he asked for. i think it’d be better to give him something he can’t handle.
“basically, you gave him what he asked for.“ i strongly disagree, jesse.
people who sign on to be nazis aren’t asking to be picked on, they already feel picked on and they’re asking for respect. but they’re asking for the respect that comes from fear. i don’t believe that someone who goes out in an armband is asking for a fight, i think he’s making a threat. threats invite a fight, yeah, but threats ASK for submission. the fight part comes from people who refuse to submit.
like, a bully says, ‘i’m big and scary, so do what i want!’ and the fight starts when someone says ‘no’. in my opinion, the fault of the fight is on the guy who made the threat, not the guy who called it in.
so, a guy wearing that armband isn’t saying ‘boy i hope someone punches me’, he’s saying ‘i want you to be scared of me’. he’s saying ‘i’m part of an organization that killed millions of civilians last time and we’re back now’. he’s saying ‘i’m in favor of genocide, treason, and domestic terrorism’. he’s saying ‘i am powerful and important and you’d better hope i don’t decide to hurt you’.
to that, this one guy responds, ‘it is punches o’clock, fucker,’ and i find that a pretty decent rebuttal.
“Dr. Kowalczyk has not been in the common areas for a week. All I have seen of her is in the greenery room. This is unusual behavior.”
Maria was one to keep to herself but this was different. She hadn’t even come out for meals.
“We received a shipment the other day. Do you think something happened on Earth to make her upset?” questioned Zalil.
Commander Xanep tapped her fingers on the table, thinking.
“It is possible. Zalil, Izzik go see what you can find about current events on Earth. I will go to Dr. Kowalczyk.”
They made their way about the ship quickly.
Commander Xanep made her way to the human’s door. She knocked gently with one hand.
“Dr. Kowalczyk? Are you alright?”
Sensing movement, the door opened. Commander Xanep peeked her head in. Dr. Kowalczyk was asleep in her bunk wearing what she called pea-jam-aahs. The room was tidy but her desk was littered with papers.
Dr. Kowalczyk had described photographs before but this was the first time Commander Xanep had seen them. Many of the humans in them looked similar to Dr. Kowalczyk but to Commander Xanep all humans looked quite similar. A few folded pieces of paper had been laid on top of the mess. She picked one up.
This one had an image of a quadrupedal animal. It looked delicate and thin if you subtracted the horns coming out of it’s head. It was standing in some sort of white subtance. What had the doctor called it-snow! Commander Xanep opened the card.
Thin scrawling letters were scratched onto the paper. Xanep had trouble reading it. She knew English moderately well, but this writing was unusual. She could make out the name at the bottom. Helena.
“Commander,” A voice said softly from the hall. She turned and left the room.
“There was an ‘earthquake’ in a place called Chile, and today is Chris-t-mas Eva,” Izzik reported.
“Would that have any significance?”
“The second one sounds familiar. I will go check.”
Commander Xanep went to check her human guide with Zalil and Izzik in tow.
“Here it is! Christmas is a religious holiday. It is celebrated by many humans. During this time period, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are also celebrated. It is very possible that humans may feel home-sick around-”
“What does that mean?” Izzik questioned.
“Well. Home is a place of dwelling or shelter, and sick is a state of unwellness-” explained Zalil.
“Is it contagious?” Izzik asked.
“I’ll keep reading,” Commander Xanep answered.
“A good way to help a human crewmate during a state of homesickness is to comfort them, distract them, or remind them of home. Approaches vary from human to human.”
“So what do humans do for Christmas?”
Commander Xanep kept reading and after an hour or so they’d come up with a plan. They were going to help their human.
-A Few Hours Later-
Maria woke up with a start. Commander Xanep was hovering above her.
“You are needed in the greenery room,” She said, then left.
Maria quickly put a jumpsuit on and shoved her feet into her boots. Her fuzzy red and green socks peeked out the top. She fought back the painful tug in her heart. She missed her family. She missed her sister, Helena. She missed watching the Grinch and eating pierogi till her stomach hurt.
She hurried to the room. What if this day was about to get even worse? What is something had happened to her plants? She’d checked on them about six hours ago. It couldn’t be that bad. Could it?
She burst through the door and was confused. A large amount of glow sticks had been strung around a tomato plant. Faint Christmas music played from a data pad next to a plate of what looked to be- hard tack?
“Good Christmas, Maria,” Izzik said with a smile.
With tears in her eyes, Maria reached out, badly wrapping all three of them in a hug.
I was watching the last episode ever of Mythbusters today, and I randomly remembered all those “humans are weird” posts I’ve been near-obsessively reading.
So imagine aliens being exposed to the very show itself? I mean humans technically count as “space mythbusters” already (thing doesn’t work? Duct tape. Also we’re always asking ourselves “what if I do this, will that happen?” And trying flat out foolish ideas just because. Things usuallymight blow up when we’re around.) So imagine if aliens, slowly familiarizing themselves with human culture and entertainment came across Mythbusters- a crew of humans literally attaching rockets to a car just to see if it will fly and how fast, blowing cement trucks (and anything else they can get their hands on) up, fooling around with guns, wakeboarding behind a cruiser, messing with gravity by dropping things like human replicas (they call it “Buster”, and someone explained it is a crash test dummy) and elevators down from huge heights, and making ordinary everyday items lethal (usually by the means of Jamie Hyneman building a gun to shoot them as bullets), splitting boats in half, building an actual bridge out of duct tape, etc. All for the sake of science and entertainment.
I imagine they would be so terrified to find out that THIS is essentially what the “for science” exclamation when doing something dangerous, foolish, or lethal (or all of the above,) means to humans.
(I wrote this in five seconds for @magic-marvin-protection-patrol because of the prompt they gave me. Here we go prepare for more Marvin angst because that’s what I’m best at apparently):
Marvin can only watch, strewn out on the ground, as the fans walk away from him, clearly uninterested in him any longer. They throw down their fanart, fanfiction- everything that involves him- to the ground, stepping on it as they leave. His throats clogs and he lets out a sob because no this wasn’t supposed to happen. He thought that the fans loved him. He thought that they wouldn’t do this to him.
“Wait!” He cried and reaches a hand up, forcing his paralyzed limbs to move against the protesting of his muscles. They want to stop, to fall apart to dust and to decay on the spot then and there. But he doesn’t want that. He’s too afraid to die. “I can- can do you a magic trick!” He forces a grin onto his lips and pulls out a pack of cards. The fans half glance to him, seemingly uninterested in what he has to say.
He grabs half of the cards in one hand and split them into the other, clapping them together. He then opens his palms, revealing there to be nothing remaining. Then, he raises one and the cards come flying out and to the ground.
One fan in particular grimaces and turns. The rest soon follow.
Marvin’s heart shatters and his legs are too weak. He falls to his knees, hugging himself for warmth and comfort. They’re leaving him… “Please don’t leave,” he whispered, tears already sliding down his cheeks.
There are footsteps and he looks up, hopeful for a remaining fan come to lift him back to his feet.
But there only stands Anti, shaking his head with the sound of tuts. Marvin lets out a sob and curls further inward on himself, entire body trembling with his emotions.
“You’re a disappointment,” Anti hissed and the words fill his ears, sink into his brain. He flinches and covers his ears with his hands but the demon’s voice continues: “I didn’t even have to do anything. They just stopped loving you.”
Marvin’s eyes widen because he had been hoping beyond hope that the demon had done something- that he tainted their minds and that they would break free, save him. But they left of their own free will, as it seemed. Another sob breaks free of his throat, louder than the last. Anti scoffs.
“I don’t even have to kill you now,” the demon continues, circling around Marvin like the vulture he is. Anti’s voice is powerful and staticky in his mind: “You’re going to die, anyway.”
And Marvin knows he’s right. Without the fan’s love and support and constant acknowledgement he would crumble to nothing but dust. He could already feel the process beginning. His skin is cracking and the soft wind brushing past him is taking off grains of the dust he is becoming.
“What a sad excuse for a challenge,” Anti said dismissively, turning from the magician. He begins to walk away, knife swinging by his side. He glances over his shoulder with a feral grin. “Sweet dreams, magician.”
Marvin can’t stop the slow decay of his body after that. Can only watch as his body erodes away under the gentle breeze until nothing of him is left.
A Glitch Named Anti 